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Monday, September 12, 2011 | 5:05 PM | 0 comments

We used to talk. We used to laugh together.
We used to listen to our favourite music together. We used to text each other.
We used to sing the song we love together. We used to chitchatting together.
We used to merepek everything together. We used to gossip about celebrities together.
We used to fight. We used to be a good friend. We used to walk together.
We used to watch movie together. We used to listen to or favourite radio together.
We used to share 'something' together.We used to go out together.
We used to sit beside each other.

But now everything seems to be ... i am nothing to you. the word USED TO ..
it scares me... Did you think i dont care bout you after everything what happened between us?
i still care bout you. i Wanna know what were you doing ..
where were you.. how are you? But im scared.
im scared i'll do the same thing i did before.
In my life, i never felt like this before.
its tearing up my heart. i just cant hold my tears.
BECAUSE of this i cried. seriously.
believe me.. i am the same me. i just felt so terrible and horrible with my shitass
attitude. no matter what i do.. i feel the pain with or without you right now.

i know i am not that important to you. but YOU ARE.
you are the one i can best friend.
im truly madly deeply sorry. i really mean it.
i am a coward person! rite? i cant tell you in person or face to face.
yeah, i am. i just cant. im still scared.

actually, when you were around. i felt like i wanna leave.
i tried to avoid and not talk to you. and if i could i dont wanna
face you. its not like i hate you. NO! I never will. dont ever think of that.
im just scared to talk or face you. im scared i used to be a person that you dont like.
every secs, every mins, everyday i think of this. every single night i'll think bout this.
and i'll asked myself. Did i do anything that hurt ur feelings today.
Did i? i am controlling myself.

i dont know if u ever noticed that. but i am. Trying.
i know we still can talk. but it was not the same as before.
i knew it. i felt it. i dont know if you were with her you were avoiding me or what.
but i know we are not and i think never will be as we used to be before.

maybe the way i talk annoys you. thats the reason im trying not to talk much.
everyone have a bestfriend. but i dont think i have one. sad yeah?
but people thinks im hearless watsoever.
it hurts me btw. but i just ignore it. i do have feelings.
but im a type of person that kept my feelings.
im not gonna tell anyone. i wanna tell you. but i know to me ..
i am not ur bestfriend. im just thinking too much.
no one wanna have me as a bestfriend. dont be. i'll hurt your feelings.

sorry for everything. i'll try to avoid or not to talk much kay?
i promise i will not text or call you. if it was THAT important then i'll call or text.
thats all. no more. everyhting we did together in the past was used to.
'no more' will be is the perfect word for now.

... im just a person you used to call a friend.
for me... you are my bestfriend. still am.
maybe after this it'll make you more comfortable without me around.
im happy for you. i just missed the old us. lately.. you are trying to avoid me.
well good then. WE ARE AVOIDING EACH OTHER. nice work mariyam. -.- #sigh

im sorry i cant join u guys buat anything anything or hang out after this..
i just cant. i dont have anything to talk to. u guys pon lately dont talk much with me..
so .. i better be off alone. dont worry. im owkay as long as u guys are owkay without me. :)

i hope you'll be okay and have fun yeah? Goodluck for you finals. study hard.
i'll pray for your success. dont be too stress aite?

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